At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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