11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
