there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
