we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
