Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
