Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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