Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
