More tranny stories later!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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