Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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