He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize