ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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