Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
