So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
