i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
