He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
