Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i love accidental penises.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
