I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
