I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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