Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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