Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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