My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
