She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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