Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
