I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
