Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...

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(757): View more from Virginia

Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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(315): View more from New York

I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

That was so not worth putting pants on for.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT

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