dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
