She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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