if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
