i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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