Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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