Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize