Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
