The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
