I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We need to get me chipped asap
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
