So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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