YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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