everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
