What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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