I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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