vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
