why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
