I wanna passion pit in your ass
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
