Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
