Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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