Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
