Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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