After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
