I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
then he tried to convert me to islam
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
