Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
