i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
