I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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