Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize