it wasn't lemon gatorade
I cockslap morals
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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