AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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