btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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