No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
