No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
