never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Congratulations! We have a period
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