how can u be prego again
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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