Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
