dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
